Buhtt sex?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I stole a fireplace last night.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
