I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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