I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
