Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
