Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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