It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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