we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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