she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
