It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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