dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize