I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
