Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
