You really coming over, don't trick.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
