This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
