I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
