My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
