I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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