Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
