hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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