Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize