I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
