I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
