Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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