I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
