guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
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First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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