she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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