did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
it's like heaven, but drunker
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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