Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize