I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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