Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
