She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
