i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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