apparently the secret to your success is patron
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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