Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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