A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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