I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
