Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Panties = found
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
