I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
