I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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