I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
