sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
