ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
