I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
