he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
