Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
