Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
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