So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
