Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
