ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Four minutes until I can fart!
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
