Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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