Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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