dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
COCAINE IS GR8
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