i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
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We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
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Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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