I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
