you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
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She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
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All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize