I wish I could punch you in the face.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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