but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
