their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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