It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
