piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
