I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
