i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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