1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
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