the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
