If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
